Distances are necessary

In any relationship distances hold the important part. As closeness and caring are necessary, in the same way, distances are also necessary. If one is at a far distance it doesn’t mean they don’t care for you. A boy studying in the hostel is the same caring for his family as his family caring for him.

Here I have described different reasons why distances are necessary.

1.       We value a lot what we obtain hardly.

When something is freely available to you, you will hardly hold its importance. When something is consistently available to you, it becomes invaluable to you. You have marked that when you want something, you work hard for it but, when you obtain it, it’s of no value to you, and you no more quest for it. Same way in a relation, when you have got time to spend with your friend after a long is more valuable than you spend time every day with your friend. 

2.       Too much of familiarity leads to disrespect

In Sanskrit it is said that:

Which means that “Familiarity breeds contempt”. We take everything for granted which is easily available to us. Sometimes we also forget to reciprocate the one who helps us regularly and mean a lot in our life. In Hindi, we say like”Ghar ki murgi daal baraabar”. How much someone try to do something new for us but we treat them regular and normal. When you are closer to someone you do not realize their importance in your life but, when you go far away from that person, you realize their importance. So for the realization of importance, distance is necessary for relations too.

3.       Meeting after long leaves you with a wonderful experience.

When you meet someone after a long time it leaves you with a different experience. You are so happy to be with them after too long. You, of course, have a lot of things to share. It maintains love between you and that person. Meeting someone after a long is like freeing you from the boredom of regular life. That really makes the moment perfect at the perfect time.

4.       Sometimes familiarity turns to formality

When you meet someone regularly, it sometimes makes you formal. And formal sometimes make you fake. You won’t do something for that person because of love but because of compulsion. Eventually, a relation of compulsion never thrives for longer, it ends someday. So keeping distance proves to be the best option.

5.       Lets you progress more

Sometimes spending time with a single person you forget the reality and your work. It may be possible that you forget to do your most important work or other people in your life. When you realize the fact you may feel guilty. So the better option Is Distance. Distance doesn’t mean breaking the relations but, it helps you keeping the balance between all the relations. With the help of distances, you will never have too much of sweetness or bitterness in any relation.

6.       Distance shows you the reality

While keeping the distance you can realize the worthy and non-worthy relations of your life. A true person in your life will never miss interpret you while you keeping distance with them. Sometimes it may be possible that while you are keeping the distance to maintain love in the relation, on the other hand, the person may be enraged with you. But at that time, you need to explain them the importance of distances.

Distances

Better it is to be away for a while,

from those closer to you and dearly known.

For in the fleeting time in between,

have lived your life and immensely grown.

After the terrible feeling of absence, 

to meet each other is a joy unknown.

To see each other with a new set of eyes,

with the beauty and innocence of a newly born. 

-Anonymous

Tips for keeping distances

Keeping distance in the proper way is very important to maintain healthy relations. Here are some ways to keep distance in a proper way.

1.       Instead of meeting a friend regularly, you can meet them weekly or monthly.

2.       You can sometimes even arrange a get together of your old friends.

3.       Talking to a friend regularly is not important to maintain love. A true friend will love you even if you meet them after 6 months or a year.

4.       Even talking every day leads to sharing nothing except saying “hi!!” and “Hello!”. When you meet after a long you have much to share and to say which makes the moment beautiful for both of you.

5.       By this, you and your friend will never experience boredom in the relation.

6.        Even when you meet after a long, inspire and help your friend. You can share your grief but sharing the creative ideas of yours will enhance the bond in the relationship.

7.       After a distance Hospitality increases in an enormous amount. 

My Experience

Click on the above link to see my experience on keeping distances.

Sharing your life wisely

We live life and experience all its ups and downs. We take many decisions sometimes it may be good and sometimes our decisions let us down. We all have a habit of sharing our life with somebody. We always want someone to listen. With them, we share our moments of happiness, our most important decision, our beautiful and ugly thoughts, our grief, our repentance, our experience etc.

Advantage:

• While sharing the problem, we may find the solution.
• While discussion, we may realize our mistakes.
• Others may also learn from our experience.

Disadvantage:

• Sometimes people may misunderstand us while discussion.
• It may lead to trouble also.
• The listener may reveal our personal life knowing or may be unknowing.

So here are some ways how can we discuss our important part of our life safely with others.

The best way is to share your problems with your family, your beloved or your mom and dad. This is least harming. I have described 10 other ways to share your life issues.

1. Never describe an incidence in detail.

Whenever you wish to share any incidence of your life describe it in brief. Describing in detail just doesn't describe you and your behaviour but also describe your relations or the person about whom you are talking. The listener may miss concept you as they were not facing your situation.

2. Avoid discussion with a single person.

Don’t discuss every part of your life with a single person. They may perceive your weakness, your enemies, and your friends. In fact, they will be capable of reading you like a book. You may not consider anyone as a foe but, they may know about the person who dislikes you.

      3.  Avoid personal discussion

You should not discuss your family and relations with anyone. It is your personal life. What benefits it would give to you by discussing good and bad about your family. For you, it may be a discussion but it may sound complaining to others and they may imagine your family as improper and rude. When it spread like fire you won’t like to hear bullshit about your family.

      4. Discuss indirectly

Something you don’t want to get revealed to your listener but still you want someone to give you a review or help you out, at that time you can make a story and say it to your listener. By this, they won’t know that it is about you. You can also discuss your problems in terms of philosophy.

  

      5. Don’t repeat incidences

If you keep repeating an incidence or telling the story of the same character always, then you can be doubted as why you care about that character or does the story belong to you only. When you keep repeating the incidence, it shows that somewhere you are a part of it, so avoid repeating.

      6. Never reveal inclination or weak points

Your listener may mistake while interpreting your inclination. You never know that the person in front of you is capable of getting you right. Learning your weak points they might disappoint you or discourage you, feeling pathetic at you. And facing disappointment when you need support just go worst sometimes.

      7.  Never reveal dislike.

Discussing your views on a political party, religion, caste etc. is not a good idea as you may be right in your own way but, if your listener has a different opinion ( right in its way) then, there may occur a situation of tension and conflict.

      8. Share with one who don’t belong to everyday world surrounding you

You can always prefer a listener who is your faithful friend but is away from your regular life. You can share your happiness and sorrow as they will never be an obstacle in your life. They will give you a solution, but will never interrupt you. They will never show misconception to you. So only nowadays people prefer to go to a counselor to find out solutions to their problem.

      9. Avoid crosstalk

It’s a bad habit when you tell the third party the life of your friend, which they told you having trust on you. One should not do this. When you are talking with a friend it’s a part of your personal conversation. You should never make it the matter of humor and fun by discussing it with the third party.

      10. Never reveal your listener

Never have a thought of revealing your listeners. It may extend your information. We can’t assume that everyone’s good. And not to forget that if there are angels there are demons too. Sometimes your small information is capable enough of creating trouble for you.

You get much help by sharing. You get the solutions for your problem. But sometimes these solutions may be a manipulation or deception. So share with others, take their advice, suggestion, think about it before acting on it and do only what you feel right. Your one decision can be a creator or destroyer depending on you.